What a Fool Believes



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"What seems to be is always better than nothing."

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HULK BLARF!What happens to the undigested food in Dr. Bruce Banner’s stomach when he flips the fuck out and all that ingrained gamma transforms him into that massive green mammoth of rage, the Hulk? My knowledge of the comic world is subatomic so I don’t know if an issue has ever been devoted to this. Probably? Some goofy issue in the late 70s/early 80s where the current scribes were like, -What the hell do we do with Hulk this week?-Well, he just beat the shit out of the Toad Men so…-We need to come down from that epicness.-Yeah, a little respite for Hulk.-What if he tells kids not to do drugs?-Thor just did that.-Thor? Really?-Yeah, he smashed a junkie’s kit with his war hammer.-Hmm… You know, what I’ve always wondered is what happens—-To Bruce Banner’s undigested food when he changes to the Hulk?-Holy shit! Yes!-That’s our issue!Or maybe none of that happened. But don’t you wonder?Like, if Bruce Banner gets angry, does the beef burrito he just finished at the lab get angry, too? Is there an enlarged, green beef burrito trying to smash its way out of Hulk’s guts? So he pukes, right? And the bile and the stomach fluids and the beef burrito all battle one another on their way out, only to perish on the busted-up street where Hulk just landed for a showdown with Mephisto. Sounds reasonable, right?Or is this like the pants thing? Am I supposed to suspend my disbelief about that gigantic Chipotle—you know Hulk loves some Chipotle—barbacoa burrito getting insanely angry in his tummy just as I am about those pants of his that somehow tolerate the rage that shirts, shoes, and the portion of the pants from the knees down cannot?I want answers about this, Stan Lee![Image from Avengers #1 1/2 (October 1999)]

HULK BLARF!

What happens to the undigested food in Dr. Bruce Banner’s stomach when he flips the fuck out and all that ingrained gamma transforms him into that massive green mammoth of rage, the Hulk?

My knowledge of the comic world is subatomic so I don’t know if an issue has ever been devoted to this. Probably? Some goofy issue in the late 70s/early 80s where the current scribes were like,
-What the hell do we do with Hulk this week?
-Well, he just beat the shit out of the Toad Men so…
-We need to come down from that epicness.
-Yeah, a little respite for Hulk.
-What if he tells kids not to do drugs?
-Thor just did that.
-Thor? Really?
-Yeah, he smashed a junkie’s kit with his war hammer.
-Hmm… You know, what I’ve always wondered is what happens—
-To Bruce Banner’s undigested food when he changes to the Hulk?
-Holy shit! Yes!
-That’s our issue!

Or maybe none of that happened.

But don’t you wonder?

Like, if Bruce Banner gets angry, does the beef burrito he just finished at the lab get angry, too? Is there an enlarged, green beef burrito trying to smash its way out of Hulk’s guts? So he pukes, right? And the bile and the stomach fluids and the beef burrito all battle one another on their way out, only to perish on the busted-up street where Hulk just landed for a showdown with Mephisto. Sounds reasonable, right?

Or is this like the pants thing?

Am I supposed to suspend my disbelief about that gigantic Chipotle—you know Hulk loves some Chipotle—barbacoa burrito getting insanely angry in his tummy just as I am about those pants of his that somehow tolerate the rage that shirts, shoes, and the portion of the pants from the knees down cannot?

I want answers about this, Stan Lee!

[Image from Avengers #1 1/2 (October 1999)]

05:22 pm, by whatafoolbelieves6 notes Comments