Season 4 / Episode 11: “The Contest”
The episode begins with Don, Walsh and Timothy dining at Hotel California. Glenn enters and says, “My mother caught me.” When asked what, he says, “I was alone,” and he goes on to imply that his mother caught him masturbating in her house while reading “a Ms. magazine”, resulting in her falling over in shock and ending up in the hospital. Glenn says he’ll never do “that” again, and when the others express skepticism at this, they make a $100 bet over who can go the longest without masturbating. Walsh then joins the bet, as does Timothy. However, Timothy is forced to bet $150, because the others claim that it is easier for bass players not to masturbate.
Walsh is first out, due to the presence of a naked woman with a bottle of tequila and a bag full of Quaaludes in the apartment across the street with the curtains open. The others are distracted by various temptations. Glenn is distracted in the hospital his mother is staying at by an acting career that receives daily sponge baths from the 1980s. Timothy attends a political rally which is also attended by Linda Ronstadt. Don is tempted by the naked woman/tequila/’ludes across the street and frustrated because Stevie Nicks, the woman he’s dating, won’t have sex with him until her muse blesses it.
The contest affects their sleep, and the remaining contestants suffer insomnia. Only the eliminated Walsh can sleep peacefully. Timothy shares a ride with Ronstadt, and he tells her that he lives near Don in order to extend the ride. He then learns that Ronstadt wants to meet, and says she’ll drop by Don’s apartment. Eventually, the pressure becomes too much for him and he is the second person to be knocked out of the contest.
While making out on the couch, Stevie tells Don that her muse has blessed their relationship and that she is ready to have sex. However, Don then tells Stevie about the contest, prompting Stevie to leave in disgust. Don immediately goes to his window to watch the naked woman/tequila/’ludes across the street, implying that he gives in to his temptation. Timothy believes that Ronstadt has changed his mind and not bothered to see him. Glenn then tells Timothy that Ronstadt did come, but missed him and went with Stevie to get set up with Lindsay Buckingham. They then see Walsh with the naked woman/tequila/’ludes across the street. That night, everyone has a good sleep, especially Walsh who is sleeping with the naked woman/tequila/’ludes, but it is not explicitly stated who won.