What a Fool Believes

Lawrence Weschler: Mr. Wilson’s Cabinet of Wonder

I lived in Oshkosh for 22 years and played tennis with a friend on the university’s courts while we were still in high school and between serves we would fail miserably at flirting with its female students and later I ended up attending the university for a year and a half and was so shy that I never spoke to a single person in any of my classes during my brief attendance there and got A’s in Philosophy and Ethics which were taught by the same professor who provided the only pieces of learning I took away one of which was to be great you had to study the greats and skipped most of my other classes to drive around and listen to Kid A and hid one night in a stranger’s dorm room with a friend who had some pot and another guy as the police banged on the door while the guy ever so slowly and softly snorted up the rest of his Adderall off of a Mariah Carey Christmas CD and after dropping out I shared a smoke with a dwarf at a house party on campus and went to another house party on Halloween dressed ironically as a present with the gift tag reading “To: Women / From: God” thinking that that was somehow funny and while working a terrible job at a bank’s operation center would drive by the campus and wonder if I should just go back and even I’m not sure if there’s a University of Wisconsin in Oshkosh.

Centaurs are real though.