Ben Affleck: I can’t wait to tell Jen how nice Emma and Bradley are! Jen will be so excited to hear all about them! Oh, Jen…
Emma Stone: When is this shoot over? These guys’ huge noggins are crushing my shoulders!
Bradley Cooper: I’m sexy and I know it. Yeah, Stone, you know it. Ah… I work out— Cut it out, Coop! You’re an Academy Award-nominated actor now!
Ben Affleck: I wonder what Jen is doing right now? Probably something nice like sitting on the patio. Oh, Jen! If I were with you, I’d kiss you right on the dimple! Ha! I’ll have to tell Jen that when I see her! She’ll love that! Oh, Jen! My sweet, sweet Jen! Uh-oh. Garner you’re gettin’ to me!
Emma Stone: Is that somebody’s penis? Ohmygod. Is that both of their penises?
Bradley Cooper: Stone, let me introduce you to the Bradley Bone. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Wigg— NO! Goddammit, Coop! You’re never gonna beat Daniel Day-Lewis like this!