23rd
Carzilla: I am not a monster!
Audience Member: Then why are you, a gigantic, metallic vehicle made to look like Godzilla, about to breathe fire all over that car?
Carzilla: I…I…I don’t know!
Audience Member: Because it’s what you are. You burn cars with the flames that shoot from your mouth. Or you roll over them with your tank treads.
Carzilla: But I don’t want to do that. I just want to be normal. I want to be able to take care of my children and work at an insurance company and go to ball games with my buds.
Audience Member: Really? An insurance company?
Carzilla: Yes.
Audience Member: I don’t know, Carzilla. My brother-in-law works at an insurance company and he seems to hate everything about it.
Carzilla: Stuck in a job he hates? I can’t relate to that.
Audience Member: C’mon, man! You’re a steel, fire-breathing, mechanical badass! Millions of people would love to do what you do.
Carzilla: Maybe at first. It gets old pretty quickly.
Another Audience Member: What’s with all the jibber-jabber?! Smoke that car, you beast!
Carzilla: Plus, you get that all day.
Audience Member: Well, maybe I could talk to my brother-in-law.
Carzilla: Really? You would do that for me?
Audience Member: For all of the enjoyment you’ve provided me, Carzilla? Sure, what the hell.
Carzilla: Oh boy! Insurance! It’s gonna be great! Thank you!
Audience Member: No problem, Carzilla.
Carzilla: Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to burn the hell out of this car. But this time the flames will be happy flames.
