What a Fool Believes

Prince and the Revolution: “Computer Blue”

Alternate Conversations Between Wendy & Lisa in “Computer Blue”

Actual:

Lisa: Wendy?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Is the water warm enough?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Shall we begin?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.

Alternate #1:

Lisa: Wendy?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Is the water in Prince’s gigantic hot tub, which is dyed purple in preparation for the ceremonial orgy we are about to have with Prince and seven other women, something that he does on a daily basis because he has an insatiable appetite for sex, warm enough?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Do you think that question could be edited down to something more succinct, yet still suggestive?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.

Alternate #2:

Lisa: Wendy?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Are you going to Target later?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Could you pick me up some more Vivacious Violet nail polish?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.

Alternate #3:

Lisa: Wendy?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Have you ever heard doves cry?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Do they really sound like what Prince says they sound like?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.

Alternate #4:

Lisa: Wendy?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Have you ever eaten squab?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Do you think I would like it?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.

Alternate #5:

Lisa: Wendy?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Do you know how prescient this song’s implication of the personal computer’s effect on sex is going to be?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Wait. You already knew that?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.

Alternate #6:

Lisa: Wendy?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Did you hear about the party?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Um, I think I’m gonna go but, um, my friends don’t really wanna go. Could I get a ride?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.

Alternate #7:

Lisa: Wendy?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: Have you ever thought about just going up to Prince and asking, “Where do you come up with this stuff, man?”?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.
Lisa: But do you always stop yourself just before because you get this sudden, overwhelming feeling that the answer is going to be something so profound, something like the Burning Bush speaking to Moses, that, at best, your hair turns gray, and, at worst, your brain explodes from the pyrotechnics of the mystical demiurgic fire ignited?
Wendy: Yes, Lisa.