What a Fool Believes

At first I was thinking of contemporary sayings. A shot is blocked by the Magic’s Dwight Howard to “The page you are looking for no longer exists!” Or an unlocked 1985-86 Dominique Wilkins of the Hawks does his signature Windmill Dunk to “Killaaaaaaaa swaaaaag!” But NBA Jam’s chosen me, WaFB. They want the weird. And I’m gonna bring it. The Clippers’ Blake Griffin does a 360° on-fire dunk to “RUMMMMMSPRINGAAAAA!!!” A steal by Chris Paul of the Hornets gets “Like the Von Trapp’s into the Austrian night!”, which, after he dunks it, is followed by the falsetto-sung, “Tea! with! Bread! and! Jam! and! Bread! and! Jam!” An unlocked 1997-98 Reggie Miller of the Pacers knocks down a three-pointer against the Knicks to “OHHHHH SHELLLLTONNNNN???”, Spike Lee’s real first name. Then there would be random proclamations, words shouted when nothing in particular is happening, like “Su-Su-Sussudio!” or “Blankets!” or “Check my whiskers, girl!” or “Virginia Woolf?” or “WUMBUS!” or “Tribble Dribble.”