May 2010
49 posts
Frog Horde Closes Major Highway in Northern Greece →
Froggius Rex is in a hotel just outside of Thessaloniki, Greece. He lies on the bed, stomach-down, feet hooked together in the air, laptop and television before him, snatching up the news. The position he’s in, along with the gleeful expression upon his round face, makes him look like a child at a sleepover. His frog pajama onesie only accentuates this. Though Froggius can’t speak...
WaFB Gets Lost
Ok, here we go. The Definitive Answer to Lost. Buckle the fuck up!
So Bruce Willis brought Haley Joel Osment and Toni Collette to the Island to become the new guardian. But these Austrian terrorists showed up, too. Bruce wanted to save Haley Joel and Toni from the terrorists but Bruce was really dead! So he had to talk them into killing the terrorists, which they did, and then Bruce had to...
The Lizard King
V
Jim Morrison is passed out on my couch. He was trying to tell me about the battle he won with the lizards. His speech became slurred to the point of total incoherency. That last section, about him reciting the poem on the stones in the desert? I made up most of that. I added some stuff to the first and second sections, too, if we’re being honest. It wasn’t long after he got...
The Lizard King
IV
Aldous Huxley, Geronimo and Jim Morrison float down the white beam of light from the ship to the planet surface. They land on an outcrop of stones before an expanse of desert. A triangle of suns, blue, orange and red in color, beat down upon the blond sand. Behind them is a once volcanic mountain eroded down to a hill. The stones look like red clay but are springy and spongy beneath...
The Lizard King
III
May 18, 2010
-Ok. So you didn’t actually die in that Paris tub but were taken by aliens to fight lizards? -Lead the lizards. For I am the Lizard King. -Oh yeah. -Far out, man, right? Jim Morrison showed up at my door today. The Jim Morrison. The Doors frontman, the Lizard King. He looks exactly the same as he did in the late 60’s: dark mane of curls, acid eyes, billowy...
The Lizard King
II
Jim Morrison wakes up on a cold slab of metal in a spherical room. Above him is a circle of blue light. The walls are the soft gold color of dawn. Beads of water drip from his beard onto his chest. His head throbs. He’s still nude. -This is the Lizard King? He looks like a Sikpathian Slug. -It’s him. -And what is that smell? -It’s an Earth fluid called...
The Lizard King
I
July 3, 1971
Jim Morrison lies in a tub in a Paris hotel. He pretends his penis is a submarine. -Dive! Dive! The Russians are approaching! He picks a bottle of vodka up off of the bathroom floor. He drains it and then drops it into the water. -The Russian sub has surfaced! It’s preparing to fire! The floating bottle of vodka fires a torpedo at Jim’s penis. -Evasive...
The Omega Man's Breath
He passed between a tree and a bush, limbs of each sticking out just above his head, and was met with a face full of spiderweb. He stopped in the middle of the yard to pull the gossamer from his damp skin and made a curse-filled mental note to take another route to the door tomorrow morning. He continued to the house, took a paper from the bag and propped it up against the aluminum siding inches...
Thieves steal Ohio hearse, dump corpse, leave note →
Jim and I were haulin’ ass in the hearse down St. Clair.
“‘Not goth enough’? ‘Not goth enough’?! Wait until I show up at her house with a fuckin’ dead body!”
Jim had a crush on this goth chick Margo for like the entire school year. He never talked to her until yesterday when he asked her to prom. All of those pictures of Bauhaus and Siouxsie...
May 11th Fun Facts!
Hey, it’s May 11th! Shrug City, right? Well, believe it or not but some exciting things have happened on this day in history. Here’s just a few of them:
Klaus Barbie, the SS Captain, Gestapo member and father of the popular toy fashion doll, went to trial in 1987 for war crimes committed in WWII. When his estranged daughter, who had just returned from a concert in space with her...
Iron Man, Too →
Inspired by the first of this summer’s blockbusters, Iron Man 2, your humble narrator What a Fool Believes becomes the superhero and goes on a series of quixotic missions to defend justice and bring peace to the world.
The Fall - Mid-Aughts Slaughter →
After seeing The Fall in November 2006, I made a mix of the songs they played in their set. The tracks are from The Real New Fall LP (Country on the Click), Fall Heads Roll and Reformation Post TLC, which came out in 2003, 2005 and 2007, respectively. If you’ve never heard this era of The Fall, and even if you have, this mix functions kinda like a Greatest Hits collection for the...
The Fall: “Y.F.O.C./Slippy Floor”
...
“The number of times I’ve lost lyrics is amazing. Sometimes I’ve...”
– MES in Renegade: The Lives and Tales of Mark E. Smith
In 2020, “the little man in the desert” became The Fall’s new drummer.
“I’ve had it with all the talk about the so-called classic era of The Fall;...”
– MES in Renegade: The Lives and Tales of Mark E. Smith
lebren-deactivated20110109 asked: Hey Fool, were you aware that Fool-face Deerhunter recently covered the Fall's "Who Makes the Nazis." http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00s93gn#p007q60t
Fall Back
Feel the wrath of The Fall posts past:
Renegade
“Wings”
“LEGOLAND WAS AMAZING!!!!!!”
“Gross Chapel - British Grenadiers”
“Cruisers Creek”
“Slates, Slags, Etc.”
33 1/3 Hex Enduction Hour
The Fall: “Leave the Capitol”
White...
“Rock and roll isn’t even music really. It’s a mistreating of...”
– Mark E. Smith
Fall Links
Feeling barmy? Check out these links on The Fall:
The Fall Online
The Legend of The Fall by Jeffrey Lewis
A Children’s Treasury of Mark E. Smith Verse by Falling and Laughing
The Fall Week at Home of the Vain
The Fall and Mark E. Smith as a Narrative Writer at The Quietus
“Mark E. Smith Reads the Football Results”
Gateways to Geekery: The Fall at The A.V. Club
...
The Fall: “Psycho Mafia”
I knew I...
“They are always different; they are always the same.”
– The late, great BBC DJ John Peel on his favorite band, The Fall.
“Hex Enduction Hour was a big fuck off to the music industry. It was probably...”
– MES on Hex Enduction Hour in Renegade: The Lives and Tales of Mark E. Smith
The Fall: “The Classical”
Even if...
The Fall is...
The Fall is a warning alarm set off by your own paranoia is a slang king is a barrage of precognition is a troglodyte’s epiphany is a revolutionary march by a mob of cretins is Mark E. Smith is Nero fiddling as Rome burns is a ravenous cloud of volcanic ash rolling over Iceland is a thousand raving ids is a hip priest is a working class conduit for disgruntled spirits is the mutant spawn of...
Hex Enduction Week
Welcome to Hex Enduction Week where we celebrate The Repetition, Repetition, Repetition, The Totally Wired, The Kurious, The Oranj, The Grotesque, The Wonderful, The Frightening, The Perverted by Language, The Classical, The Fall. In honor of the 28th(!) studio album by Mark E. Smith and his (latest) crew, Your Future Our Clutter, What a Fool Believes will become What The Fall Believes and post...
