November 2009
42 posts
Things You Should Know About Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was created by Martians who arrived in Egypt around 2650 BC. The Little Green Men brought a spaceship full of turkey and all the fixings to the Pharaoh as a gift. The Pharaoh, at first, was unwelcoming towards the Martians - something about their “spoiled goat milk stench”. But once he sampled their gifts, in particular, the stuffing, the Pharaoh changed his mind...
Loopy Question
Is the reason that the loop pedal has become such an integral instrument in music over the past few years due to the fact that we live in this hyper-information age and for anything to remain with us it needs to be a pleasant loop that, through repetition, charmingly worms its way past all of the daily detritus to inhabit a place of permanence? Is the reason that the loop pedal has become such an...
What a Fool Believes on Live Wrong and Prosper -... →
I was lucky enough to guest on this Friday’s “very special episode” of Live Wrong and Prosper. It was even more fun than my guest appearance on Law & Order: SVU in 2006 - Episode 9 of Season 8: “Choreographed” - when I got to play a manipulative choreographer, involved in a love triangle and suspected of poisoning a model. (Spoiler: My character only loved...
Talking Heads: “Artists Only”
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Whoopi's Birthday
Whoopi Goldberg’s Home Kitchen What a Fool Believes enters. What a Fool Believes: Happy Birthday Whoopi Goldberg! Whoopi Goldberg: Who the hell are you? WaFB: Just a man who wants to wish you Happy Birthday. Whoopi: And how did you get into my house? WaFB: Robin Williams let me in. Whoopi: Robin Williams?! WaFB: Oh shit. Was that a surprise? Whoopi: We gotta go. Now. Robin Williams: (From...
I Had a Bonanza for Breakfast: The Saga of the... →
Episode 83: Loose in the Supermarket
Episode 37: Take Me to Heaven
“Who claims Truth, Truth abandons. History is hir’d, or coerc’d, only...”
– Thomas Pynchon: Mason & Dixon
Historical fiction à la Pynchon has Benjamin Franklin presenting electrical experiments like a dark wizard and having threesomes with prostitutes, George Washington as a pothead and dealer, evolutionary marvels in the Age of Reason like ‘the Learnèd English...
Pavement Best-Of on the Way? →
There are two rock and roll bands, who’ve released four or more albums - which I believe is the amount that would warrant consideration - that I can say without a doubt a Best of compilation is completely unnecessary and just plain wrong. Those bands are the Velvet Underground and Pavement. You know what Pavement’s Greatest Hits are? Everything. Every work in their oeuvre is...
Another Apology
We would like to apologize for our last two pieces: The Chanty Wrassler Roger Moore Goes to the Bank and Reasons Why Roger Moore Is a Jessy Bas. As stated in our previous apology, the next few pieces were to be written Roger Moore. This did not occur. Sean Connery, disguised as Roger Moore, snuck into our office and wrote the last two pieces. We are very disappointed with Mr. Connery’s...
Reasons Why Roger Moore Is a Jessy Bas
The bawbag’s from Stockwell which has nothing to offer but a boggin bus garage!
The daftie made a video with PETA that protested foie gras - which is ferr barry!
He farts aboot with Danish Royals! Danish!
His Bond was a wee feartie-cat and windae-licker!
Just swatch tha slumph!
Apology
We would like to apologize for our last piece George Lazenby: On Her Majesty’s Singular and Transitional Service. The piece was far too obscure and self-indulgent even for this establishment. The author of the piece, George Lazenby, has since been let go from his position. The next few pieces, to be written by Roger Moore, though not as action-packed, will be much more suave and sexy.
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George Lazenby: On Her Majesty's Singular and...
George Lazenby, thanks to his portrayal of James Bond in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, has become known in pop culture as a symbol of singularity and transition, though most often in a derogatory sense. What most people do not know is that Lazenby has played several other singular, transitional roles in- and outside of the entertainment industry. Below are the five most interesting...
LIVE WRONG AND PROSPER -- THE BOOK!
livewrongandprosper:
Dear Tumblr Friends*,
I’m hoping to self-publish the book Live Wrong and Prosper: Your Morals for A Million, partly because this game never gets old to me and partly because I have a backlog of hundreds and hundreds of questions I’m excited to share with the world. I’m using Kickstarter to raise the money for publishing costs, and I’m asking for your help; by donating...
